Telling ourselves what we want to hear.
Hearing only what we tell ourselves.
“I want my water to taste like something!”
This has been my mantra for years. If I’m supposed to drink more water, then I want to enjoy my water. But water by itself just doesn’t make it for me. Any glass of H2O tastes great during or after hard work. Yet after walking my 3 miles every morning I am not convinced that refreshing should equal tasteless. Over the years I’ve discovered various crystals, zero-calorie drinks, and now water enhancers to add flavor to my water. I literally had to improve, augment, boost, even redefine my water to enjoy my water.
It has finally dawned on me. I like things my way. I want to create my own definitions. We all do. How does that look, this creating definitions, in how we live our lives? Here are a few examples, through questions, to consider.
- How do I define “love.” Is it short term or long? About me or others?
- What is “human?” Do I define who is “human” by color, class, culture? Do I accept people based on who they are or what they have?
- Does the phrase “that’s how you remember the conversation” mean I get to redirect the impact of your words, redefining them, so I don’t have to accept responsibility for my words?
- Is abortion a “difficult decision?” Some don’t want to use this language defining a human choice therefore implying ethics.
- Should “tolerance” take on a new definition when Vanderbilt, California State, and Bowdoin refuse to recognize InterVarsity as an accepted student group?
- Was the man wrong to quit his subscription to The New York Times because the newspaper continued to only accept one definition of who is wrong in the Gaza War?
- Can the definition of “sexual identity” be something we define for ourselves making “gender identity” something “innate, deeply felt” by each individual?
- Can the definition of “illegal immigration” now equal “immigration rights” just because the president says so?
- Why must Jonah Hill immediately apologize for an anti-gay slur but while other groups get to define “hate groups” by simply listing a definition?
- Is there any such thing as truth in politics any longer, where what you say, is what you mean?
When we define something we place limits around it. Without limits “definition” now becomes a place for all the Websters of the world to add their own updated version of whatever the word, topic, idea, work, etc.
I was reminded of empty definitions as I was re-watching parts of the film Disconnect: a very disturbing, very sad view of what we allow the internet to do to us. During one segment, the band The Limousines performed “Very Busy People,” an ugly yet honest portrayal of what we are left with, without limits, without definitions, and only left with ourselves. Rev. Paul Gregory Alms agrees:
“Rock-and-roll depends on something to rebel against, long for, a rule to break. Boundaries are increasingly absent in today’s society. When there is only freedom, there is only celebration of self. That does not produce art; it produces pornography; a constant pleasuring of self in the absence of anything that says ‘no.'” [1]
Telling ourselves what we want to hear. Hearing only what we tell ourselves.
“I want my water to taste like something!” I want to define my water based on my taste.
The only question left to answer is “Can I define anything based on my taste?” If the answer to the question is “yes,” I can define my own reality until someone else with more words, more influence, more power, and a different dictionary redefines me.
Dr. Mark Eckel teaches the importance of definition for Capital Seminary & Graduate School.
[1] Rev. Paul Gregory Alms, “Songs Without Borders,” Touchstone 27, no. 5, September/October 2014, p. 19.