An American Carol

Political conservatives unite!  In a not-so-subtle attempt to pillory Michael Moore, David Zucker (Airplane, Naked Gun) throws red meat to all the dogs of cultural warfare. Tired of anti-Christian tirades and conservative bashing from Hollywood elites, Zucker decided to direct a film taking on the tyrants of Tinseltown.  Imagine . . . The American military is elevated to a positive status.  Preservation of U. S. ideals and ideas is sacrosanct.  John F. Kennedy’s inaugural address is Marley’s ghost, rattling the chains of freedom to Michael’s cowardly Scrooge.  And, for once, Islamo-Fascists are shown to be who they are: small minded men who simply desire destruction and domination.  The terrorist leader (played with great a palm by Robert Davi) guides his bumbling companions through their various foiled plots: a reminder that we have done a good job stopping our enemies’ terrorist strikes.  One remembers after watching such a film, that America is a good place full of good people who do good things for others.

Political satire leaves political correctness in tatters.  A Broadway-esque number lampooning Left-leaning college professors’ tirades in U.S. classrooms scores points in every stanza.  The ludicrous nature of equating Islamic terrorism with supposed Christian “atrocities” is shown as utter foolishness via video-exposé.  “What If?” historical moments make their mark: anti-war viewpoints might have left us with continued slavery in the 21st century without the Civil War or an Islamic state in Hollywood.  “McCarthy-ism” does not exist, even though elites want to maintain a dead body in the coffin with the makeup of making more movies on the subject.  And ACLU zombies?!  Yes!

Various conservative and libertarian actors create laughable, laudable characters giving a point-of-view hardly ever heard from California.  Kelsey Grammar is General George Patton who marches Michael’s character through conservative basic training.  Jon Voight plays a somber General George Washington, giving a subdued performance in a movie full of hilarity.  A moving, lump-in-throat moment comes when the wreckage of The Twin Towers is revealed, with the words, “This is the dust of three thousand souls.”  Dennis Hopper, James Woods, Gail O’Grady, and other right-of-center luminaries enter the stage, adding their considerable conservative voices to the script.  Special mention must be given Trace Atkins as “the spirit of things yet to come.”  A gallery full of American servicemen serves as the backdrop for pro-American country music finale.

As in Dicken’s A Christmas Carol the American Scrooge Michael no-not Moore (Kevin Farley) reforms his treasonous ways by movie’s end.  Repenting of his aid to our enemies, Michael finds himself on the receiving end of liberal anger and back-patting American pride.  In truth, this is a bad movie.  I am NOT a fan of the Dumb and Dumber genre.  Yet I rented this film from my local video outlet to lend my dollars in economic support of one conservative voice in Hollywood.  So, here is to all those who spurn the current “black listing” of conservatives on the Left Coast.  May their tribe increase.  May their voice be heard.  May their love of country be our own.

Rated PG-13 for crude humor and a great deal of Michael no-not Moore slapping.

Mark Eckel, Professor of Old Testament, Crossroads Bible College

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